The 100/0 Principle

An excerpt from
The 100/0 Principle
by Al Ritter

What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It’s The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.

Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.

The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.

STEP 1 – Determine what you can do to make the relationship work…then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.

STEP 2 – Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.

STEP 3 – Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don’t take the bait.

STEP 4 – Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don’t respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the “Knower” and shift to being the “Learner.” Avoid Knower statements/thoughts like “that won’t work,” “I’m right, you are wrong,” “I know it and you don’t,” “I’ll teach you,” “that’s just the way it is,” “I need to tell you what I know,” etc.

Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like “Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation,” “I could be wrong,” “I wonder if there is anything of value here,” “I wonder if…” etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

Principle Paradox

This may strike you as strange, but here’s the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.

What bad consequences does anger have?

by Paul J. Bucknell

Angry People find it very difficult to admit the evil nature of anger.
Perhaps this is because the spirit of anger is so close at hand.

A review of the consequences of anger can help motivate those with a spirit of anger to get rid of their anger.

Anger or angry is used 433 times in the Bible. Much research can be done on these passages. In what passage did Jesus expose the need to eliminate anger from our lives?

• Anger is unacceptable before God.
  

We can never accomplish God’s ways with anger.
    James 1:19-20
   “This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to  hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”

• Anger leads to more anger.

     If you think ones anger is bad now, it will get worse unless you take a strong course of action.
    Proverbs 10:12
” Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions.”

• Anger becomes addictive.
 

Angry people don’t simply change.
    Proverbs 19:19
” [A man of] great anger shall bear the penalty, For if you rescue [him,] you will only have to do it again.”

• Anger leads to hostility and lawsuits.

  Anger easily leads to extra expensive and stressful situations that otherwise could have been avoided.
    Matthew 5:25
“Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, in order that your opponent may not deliver you to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.”

• Anger always needs reconciliation.

Anger produces strained relationships which must be solved before we go on in our spiritual lives.
    Matthew 5:23
“If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”

• Anger always needs restoration.

Angry people are constantly hurting people and causing offenses.
    Proverbs 14:17
“A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, And a man of evil devices is hated.”

If you do not enjoy relationships but are tense, mean and critical, there is a good chance that you have an angry spirit.

People don’t like to be around angry people. It simply follows that if a person has an angry and bitter attitude, he will more than likely have problems in his interpersonal relationships. Ask yourself the following questions?

  •  When was the last time you lost your temper?
  •  Did you ever physically hurt someone through your anger?
  •  What are some of the phrases that you use when angry?
  •  Have you ever apologized for your anger?
  •  What relationships are being stressed because of unresolved anger?

The gospel of Jesus Christ is centered around God’s love for us and through us. We cannot tolerate anger in our lives. Anger brings physical, emotional and social damages to our lives and others. All these serious consequences point to our need of the gospel of Christ’s love.